THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

The end of third year at engineering marks the beginning if the big anti climax that is of course “final year “. Next year is all going to be how much we’re going to miss college, lots of tears over missing friends and bunking classes only to go out and do nothing which am pretty sure is going to ruin it for me anyway . Honestly I don’t think am going to miss college that much (if only a little maybe). Well that is what we do, we freak out that tomorrow is not going to be as comfortable and stable as today and in the process ruin today. It’s our everlasting quest for that stability that drives us to that place of convenience where we spend the rest of our lives and if we are lucky get to be happy. That is what makes me more scared than being sad when it comes to leaving college.

I don’t have a clue where that place outside the bounds of college is or more importantly how to work my way till there. In the past I have tricked myself into believing I want things only to find out the hard way they were never meant for me. I might have made slight improvement in that department with a little age and experience but that is not close enough to give any assurance from future catastrophes.

I go back to those nights I spent in the first year here with my cousin brothers watching Darjeeling Limited in pitch darkness which is about these three brothers looking for spiritual enlightenment and meaning for life as they travel through India . Anyway now all three of them (cousins) have jobs in different corners of the country and are leading their bittersweet lives.
I would any day make a deal to have something like that even if only to reduce the level of uncertainty that lies in front of me. Though pausing things right there or even now seems a more lucrative deal.

The ingredients for me are narrowed down to find that source that pays me for something that I don’t absolutely hate , confusion and uncertainty is minimum (this might differ for others) and have a friend(s) to share movie time with. All the big talk about ambition and I look to settle. In all fairness that is my ambition, to be devoted to laziness.What is my ultimate aim in life? Is being content the opposite of being ambitious? Am I ambitious, if yes, then what is my passion? Am I content, if yes, then why I am not happy? There is this urge to fast forward things to that moment where everything seems to work out. Can’t wait to see the first day of the rest of my life.

Change : yet again

I spent the early years of my childhood in salt lake (out skirts of Kolkata) and there are these vivid mental pictures I still retain that expressed Kolkata as the flagship city of the left. The walls painted with CPI(M) symbols with writings in bold Bengali, the gol chowks tied around with “lal” flags that were never taken down after the last rally and those three wheeler pickup trucks (have only seen them in Kolkata) mounted with a loud speaker driving slowly through the residential streets on a Sunday morning were things out of the mundane. Then around the 1998 elections the walls of Kolkata featured a new mural, that of a three petalled flower bearing the tricolour marking the arrival of Trinamool Congress into the Bengal politics. It belonged to Mamata Banerjee who I knew too well as the woman who always seemed really pissed at something or the other every time she was on local news and on national television her strong Bengali accent was borderline hilarious. Even if this was 12 years ago not many could have predicted the scene to change so drastically in a relatively short span of time.

The Marxists rose to power owing to the “poribartan hawa” (air of change) of the 70’s and managed to retain their position long after the wind had changed its course. They survived the fall of the Berlin wall and the collapse of the Soviet Union; however the green fields of Singur and the bloodied villages of Nandigram overwhelmed them ending a 34 year long reign in Bengal. It has been a historic win NOT because it brought about a change in the political party after such a long time (That has been done on several occasions), or because who brought about a change was a woman whose win couldn’t have been predicted a decade ago; but because it marks the end of a system that exercised power over the state for such a long time and raises serious questions on its return to power (the party might but the system would not).The left came into power with promises of land reforms and redistribution of zameen to the common peasants and implemented this policy with marked stubbornness and ineptitude. Foreign investment and industries of the state suffered in the sidelines as the government turned their head away from the cries of a small educated bunch from the urban parts demanding for better jobs and scope for higher education who moved out to other parts of the country in the lookout for greener patches. Not until recently while looking to find a balance between industries and agriculture that would provide the state with the much necessary boost in development the government gave Mamata Banerjee the very platform to make her election campaign from by allocating land for setting up the factory for Tata, losing their support base from both ends.

Mamata Banerjee, riding on the farmland acquisition issue by the Tata Motors factory in the Singur project and- ironically -yet again on the promise of “change”. Over the last few years politicians have ruined the word “change” and probably altered what it means slightly. There emerges a cyclic pattern in its usage over the years and has often proved to be a powerful tool to remove a party in power for a prolonged period of time. And longer is the time in power more is the number scandals, use of ugly politics and short comings in the time of crisis which makes the task of the opposition that much easier, that much irrelevant and more inevitable than historic.

The real tedious work lies ahead. Lets hope the change is for the better, even if relatively.