I have always been very careful with the word 'friends'. There are people, and then there are friends. People come, people go. But, friends come and nourish you with a value, get nourished in return and stay as a part of you. It doesn't matter how long the companionship lasts. It doesn't matter what they do for you, and what they don't, until you are sure they possess the value you adore. You might not talk on the phone for long hours, you might not meet everyday to say hi, you might not remember their birthday. But, it wouldn't matter.
I believe that the kind of friends one chooses defines his self. If one looks for a value, I am sure he has one part of him that adores that value and so eventually the value becomes a part of him.
They say friends are like the shadow. I cannot seem to agree. Friends are more like mirrors. Mirrors of what goes on in your mind. They reflect what you like. They might not reflect you; and this is very important to know. We need not be similar to the people we like; if it were so, we could as well have no friends at all. We might always have common interests; after all there needs to be a platform to interact and understand.
Love, is another such thing. Its like the second most misunderstood term after GOD. I heard this word more than ten times in the last twenty four hours. From some mad-forwarded SMS to scroll through to the lame RJs on the radio, everyone wants to define love and be influenced by it. Everyone seems to want to love. Everyone seems to want to be loved. Loved for what, why and how, we don't seem to clarify to ourselves. Love seems to be in the air, and every other wrong place. We love people for who they are, and that is a moral necessity.
What we love is again a mirror to how we think. And just saying "I love you. Please love me too." doesn't evolve into actually loving. And what in hell kind of a statement was that?! How could people love on request?
It isn't surprising that I find myself out-of-place with such remarks and language. I have always felt it. What is surprising is the remarkable level of foolishness around, that only seems to grow with unbound acceleration, second by second. I can't help but think about it.
I can't help but write about it.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Refrigerator n Studies dont go together
is it just me, or a common habit, everytime u study near the fridge, u tend to get up every now and then, open the refrigerator, check out for something to eat and close it back again knowing that there was nothing there last time u checked also?
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Practical, irresponcible or callous
I checked my bike’s handle for the third time to ensure there were no stains and entered my house finally. I remembered someone telling me “For everything there is a first time” but this first experience, I had today was not a pleasant one!!! I was totally exhausted, shocked and preoccupied with random thoughts, because of this particular “first experience”. I went straight to the wash-basin and started to wash the blood stains off my hands. Water and blood started to flow with a very characteristic color and smell. As I was watching that, the realization that, the blood flowing off my hands was not mine, and the fact that it belonged to a total stranger gave a very painful and odd feeling.
I slowly washed my face and looked into the mirror. Having always assumed that I would grow up into a responsible citizen, my own reflection in the mirror appeared like a stranger. It seemed as though the reflection in the mirror was questioning me “did you do the right thing today??” .The look with which my reflection stared at me was terrifying . And it all happened again. The scene I had witnessed today unfolded itself as though my mind was just waiting for me to shut my eyes.
I was riding my bike at a decent speed in a street highly crowded with people doing their festive shopping. Everyone were in their “Own world” with high festive spirits. I thought to myself “just because the people are doing their shopping and enjoying the celebrations of dussera why should they turn deaf to all the horns honking around? Why don’t they realize they are not walking on the platforms and thereby causing disturbance to the traffic?”
I moved a little away from the platform towards the divider, where the vehicles were moving at better speeds. Immediately the bus driver behind me honked the horn at full blast and I returned back to one corner of the road and the bus sped past me. I was staring at the bus with anger on the driver and suddenly a hand appeared out of the window behind the driver seat and she (bangles were visible) threw away a polythene cover, ignoring the fact that the bus is moving inside the city in a crowded street. The cover rapidly blew away by the wind reached the rear of the bus and got stuck in the face of the rider(Mr.X) beside me.
And all of a sudden things went chaotic. Sudden brakes, screeching tyres, and people screaming everywhere!! As I moved towards the platform and stopped my bike to look back, lot of things had happened. Mr.X had tried to remove the cover stuck on his face and lost control of his bike and fell down and a car which had come behind him skidded to a halt and there was a chain accident with 3 cars colliding and 2-3 bike riders losing control and falling.
I immediately ran towards Mr.X, and was the first to reach him. The car had not run over him, it had stopped just in time but due to the impact of the cars behind it(chain accident ) the car had forced him between its wheels and the divider rods!!! He had suffered major bruises and was bleeding badly but thankfully he was still breathing. I checked out if I can stop the bleeding by tying a hand kerchief, but in vain. I looked around and saw a policeman come running towards the scene. He called control room for help.
Then he looked at me and asked “do you know him??”
“NO”
“Did you see what happened??”
Yes I had seen it totally but what did I reply ?? “No sir. I am just trying to be of some help… I mean… some first aid stuff”. And the justification “I have to go and pick dad up, he will be waiting for me”, “what will mom say if she gets to know that I am in the police station giving witness to such a case?” ,“do I have to appear at the court giving witness and stuff?? No, I cant!! I have to go back to college on Friday” just like any irresponsible man in the streets.
“Clear off. Let me do my work. you don’t get involved in such mess or else we will have to call you for enquiry and stuff.”
I wanted to shout “Mr.X is my relative, ill accompany him to the hospital. I know what happened. Stop that bus. The culprit totally unaware what damage she had just caused is moving away in that bus.” And a number of other things, but all that I could manage was a faint “ok sir”, and I moved out.
A simple act of littering had cost such huge damage. And the person responsible was totally unaware of it. Yes, people do throw things here and there they don’t look for dustbins. But atleast, why don’t they look out before they throw things out of the window of a vehicle.
I could hold it no more. I opened my eyes. The reflection of me still had a questioning look on its face. “Did you do the right thing today??” may be I should have acted in a more responsible way, by informing his family and stuff. But its all over now. There is nothing that I can do now. I don’t even know whether Mr.X is alive now!!! If he is alive “Get well soon”, else “may his soul rest in peace”. Is this the reality?? Am I being practical, irresponisible or merely callous?? “Some facts are hard to digest”!!! I justified myself telling that I was realistic!!!
I slowly washed my face and looked into the mirror. Having always assumed that I would grow up into a responsible citizen, my own reflection in the mirror appeared like a stranger. It seemed as though the reflection in the mirror was questioning me “did you do the right thing today??” .The look with which my reflection stared at me was terrifying . And it all happened again. The scene I had witnessed today unfolded itself as though my mind was just waiting for me to shut my eyes.
I was riding my bike at a decent speed in a street highly crowded with people doing their festive shopping. Everyone were in their “Own world” with high festive spirits. I thought to myself “just because the people are doing their shopping and enjoying the celebrations of dussera why should they turn deaf to all the horns honking around? Why don’t they realize they are not walking on the platforms and thereby causing disturbance to the traffic?”
I moved a little away from the platform towards the divider, where the vehicles were moving at better speeds. Immediately the bus driver behind me honked the horn at full blast and I returned back to one corner of the road and the bus sped past me. I was staring at the bus with anger on the driver and suddenly a hand appeared out of the window behind the driver seat and she (bangles were visible) threw away a polythene cover, ignoring the fact that the bus is moving inside the city in a crowded street. The cover rapidly blew away by the wind reached the rear of the bus and got stuck in the face of the rider(Mr.X) beside me.
And all of a sudden things went chaotic. Sudden brakes, screeching tyres, and people screaming everywhere!! As I moved towards the platform and stopped my bike to look back, lot of things had happened. Mr.X had tried to remove the cover stuck on his face and lost control of his bike and fell down and a car which had come behind him skidded to a halt and there was a chain accident with 3 cars colliding and 2-3 bike riders losing control and falling.
I immediately ran towards Mr.X, and was the first to reach him. The car had not run over him, it had stopped just in time but due to the impact of the cars behind it(chain accident ) the car had forced him between its wheels and the divider rods!!! He had suffered major bruises and was bleeding badly but thankfully he was still breathing. I checked out if I can stop the bleeding by tying a hand kerchief, but in vain. I looked around and saw a policeman come running towards the scene. He called control room for help.
Then he looked at me and asked “do you know him??”
“NO”
“Did you see what happened??”
Yes I had seen it totally but what did I reply ?? “No sir. I am just trying to be of some help… I mean… some first aid stuff”. And the justification “I have to go and pick dad up, he will be waiting for me”, “what will mom say if she gets to know that I am in the police station giving witness to such a case?” ,“do I have to appear at the court giving witness and stuff?? No, I cant!! I have to go back to college on Friday” just like any irresponsible man in the streets.
“Clear off. Let me do my work. you don’t get involved in such mess or else we will have to call you for enquiry and stuff.”
I wanted to shout “Mr.X is my relative, ill accompany him to the hospital. I know what happened. Stop that bus. The culprit totally unaware what damage she had just caused is moving away in that bus.” And a number of other things, but all that I could manage was a faint “ok sir”, and I moved out.
A simple act of littering had cost such huge damage. And the person responsible was totally unaware of it. Yes, people do throw things here and there they don’t look for dustbins. But atleast, why don’t they look out before they throw things out of the window of a vehicle.
I could hold it no more. I opened my eyes. The reflection of me still had a questioning look on its face. “Did you do the right thing today??” may be I should have acted in a more responsible way, by informing his family and stuff. But its all over now. There is nothing that I can do now. I don’t even know whether Mr.X is alive now!!! If he is alive “Get well soon”, else “may his soul rest in peace”. Is this the reality?? Am I being practical, irresponisible or merely callous?? “Some facts are hard to digest”!!! I justified myself telling that I was realistic!!!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Spring Comes Once In Seventeen -- by Radhika Dash
My years of summer sun are wasted yet,
In boredom, labour, tears and fret.
What I’ll be is what I’ve been,
But spring comes once in seventeen.
I shut the door on the sunny clime.
Telling myself, “some other time”.
I let the caressing wind pass me,
Without letting lose my ecstacy.
It billows into linen and I behold,
No more than a glimpse of the beauty they hold.
Blue skies rise over one and set
But my years of sun are wasted yet.
My tears of toil and quest, promise
There shall be brighter days than this
But todays soft hues shall never be seen
For spring comes only once at seventeen.
In boredom, labour, tears and fret.
What I’ll be is what I’ve been,
But spring comes once in seventeen.
I shut the door on the sunny clime.
Telling myself, “some other time”.
I let the caressing wind pass me,
Without letting lose my ecstacy.
It billows into linen and I behold,
No more than a glimpse of the beauty they hold.
Blue skies rise over one and set
But my years of sun are wasted yet.
My tears of toil and quest, promise
There shall be brighter days than this
But todays soft hues shall never be seen
For spring comes only once at seventeen.
Cuz Blue Jeans Fade
I had the hardest time picking a pair of jeans,
I had half heartedly selected one.
Mom was on her way to get it billed,
And that was when i saw you....
I stopped n stared,
Felt the connection instantly.(N guess you did too)
Denim, straight cut, regular fit, wrangler
I bought u for a discount at central
oh blue jeans i wore you everyday,
had no particular reason ever to change.
My life, my thoughts were running in a loop,
The monotony best signified by you.
Minutes turn into hours,
N i wait, for the night,
But before i know, its dawn,
N the wait has to start all over again.
I wake up to a fresh new day,
Which turns out no different from its previous.
My hope for the one to follow going a shade fainter,
Though not once i complain,remain stupefied by the procedure.
Two years have passed,
n you too have faded with me,
I know its time to part, but i cant.
Nostalgia for a time so dark,Holds me down.
I fought with the world that objected,
Refused the lucrative discount at central.
N so my blue jeans,I wear you everyday.
Not for the oul’ times, but cuz i cant think of a reason to change............
I had half heartedly selected one.
Mom was on her way to get it billed,
And that was when i saw you....
I stopped n stared,
Felt the connection instantly.(N guess you did too)
Denim, straight cut, regular fit, wrangler
I bought u for a discount at central
oh blue jeans i wore you everyday,
had no particular reason ever to change.
My life, my thoughts were running in a loop,
The monotony best signified by you.
Minutes turn into hours,
N i wait, for the night,
But before i know, its dawn,
N the wait has to start all over again.
I wake up to a fresh new day,
Which turns out no different from its previous.
My hope for the one to follow going a shade fainter,
Though not once i complain,remain stupefied by the procedure.
Two years have passed,
n you too have faded with me,
I know its time to part, but i cant.
Nostalgia for a time so dark,Holds me down.
I fought with the world that objected,
Refused the lucrative discount at central.
N so my blue jeans,I wear you everyday.
Not for the oul’ times, but cuz i cant think of a reason to change............
We meet and we pass
Was walking down the hill along a high wall,
that cast a shadow on my path,
though scores of vents it had with time,
it never let the sunshine through.
I tried yet again to see what lay beyond,
That massive obstruction concealing the landscape,
And as i turned ,was when i saw you,
As you came up the hill.
I tried hard not to stare ,
And let my thoughts go astray,
All the time we spoke you seemed to find something
Intresting in ur toes to smile at.
Afterward i went past what u had passed,before we met,
and u what i had passed.
All that remained was the footprints we ,
Had drawn in the summer dust,
Which with time would blow away...........
that cast a shadow on my path,
though scores of vents it had with time,
it never let the sunshine through.
I tried yet again to see what lay beyond,
That massive obstruction concealing the landscape,
And as i turned ,was when i saw you,
As you came up the hill.
I tried hard not to stare ,
And let my thoughts go astray,
All the time we spoke you seemed to find something
Intresting in ur toes to smile at.
Afterward i went past what u had passed,before we met,
and u what i had passed.
All that remained was the footprints we ,
Had drawn in the summer dust,
Which with time would blow away...........
The Chemistry Bitch
The night was young, moon was high,
And out she came clad in a see through shirt.
A stained stocking up her thigh,
And a tight leather, double slit skirt.
She submits to several dogs at a time,
Thus clearly is a whore.
Those who get a 19 in their viva,
Are the ones she gets to score.
She lights a smoke,
Leans on the night lamp.
Her right leg bent at the knee.
A half smile of a soap opera vamp. (creasing the chalk of her face)
Jumping from should I or should I not,(there i stood)
I wondered what life would mean.
Made my decision, crushed my ideals,
And came back with a fifteen.
COMMENTRY:
The chemistry bitch refers to this teacher we have in our lab who gave me a 15 after i answered most questions correctly. The last paragraph clarifies that its not ur chemistry skills shes judging but ur skills in the bed. My believing that just sleeping with her would get me a 20 in the initial lines did not work out. I sucked n so did my “score”.
And out she came clad in a see through shirt.
A stained stocking up her thigh,
And a tight leather, double slit skirt.
She submits to several dogs at a time,
Thus clearly is a whore.
Those who get a 19 in their viva,
Are the ones she gets to score.
She lights a smoke,
Leans on the night lamp.
Her right leg bent at the knee.
A half smile of a soap opera vamp. (creasing the chalk of her face)
Jumping from should I or should I not,(there i stood)
I wondered what life would mean.
Made my decision, crushed my ideals,
And came back with a fifteen.
COMMENTRY:
The chemistry bitch refers to this teacher we have in our lab who gave me a 15 after i answered most questions correctly. The last paragraph clarifies that its not ur chemistry skills shes judging but ur skills in the bed. My believing that just sleeping with her would get me a 20 in the initial lines did not work out. I sucked n so did my “score”.
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