The end of third year at engineering marks the beginning if the big anti climax that is of course “final year “. Next year is all going to be how much we’re going to miss college, lots of tears over missing friends and bunking classes only to go out and do nothing which am pretty sure is going to ruin it for me anyway . Honestly I don’t think am going to miss college that much (if only a little maybe). Well that is what we do, we freak out that tomorrow is not going to be as comfortable and stable as today and in the process ruin today. It’s our everlasting quest for that stability that drives us to that place of convenience where we spend the rest of our lives and if we are lucky get to be happy. That is what makes me more scared than being sad when it comes to leaving college.
I don’t have a clue where that place outside the bounds of college is or more importantly how to work my way till there. In the past I have tricked myself into believing I want things only to find out the hard way they were never meant for me. I might have made slight improvement in that department with a little age and experience but that is not close enough to give any assurance from future catastrophes.
I go back to those nights I spent in the first year here with my cousin brothers watching Darjeeling Limited in pitch darkness which is about these three brothers looking for spiritual enlightenment and meaning for life as they travel through India . Anyway now all three of them (cousins) have jobs in different corners of the country and are leading their bittersweet lives.
I would any day make a deal to have something like that even if only to reduce the level of uncertainty that lies in front of me. Though pausing things right there or even now seems a more lucrative deal.
The ingredients for me are narrowed down to find that source that pays me for something that I don’t absolutely hate , confusion and uncertainty is minimum (this might differ for others) and have a friend(s) to share movie time with. All the big talk about ambition and I look to settle. In all fairness that is my ambition, to be devoted to laziness.What is my ultimate aim in life? Is being content the opposite of being ambitious? Am I ambitious, if yes, then what is my passion? Am I content, if yes, then why I am not happy? There is this urge to fast forward things to that moment where everything seems to work out. Can’t wait to see the first day of the rest of my life.
6 comments:
This piece, according to my reading, posits a critique of everyday life a la positing the lack of control over it. The problem lies in the fact that the mediation of wants/needs by value-form (which is an embodiment of man's own labour alienated from him and confronting him) is not usually(allowed to be) understood/articulated. Man [any concrete (because there is no abstract) individual] has to ground her/his critique in the material determinateness of practice/labor/activity. "The only thing unbearable is that everything is bearable," Arthur Rimbaud to Paul Verlaine in a movie Total Eclipse.
i thing i am gonna agree with you there...the grass on the other side always looks greener until u step out in the open meadows.hard way or not, every 1 has painted a pic with mirth as the days of the rest of their lives. kuddos
Nicely written.
I was pretty sure from the very beginning i'll never miss college cuz the only thing i did was curse the teachers and crib about the crowd :| But when it all ends, u realise that u have found a few people in the four years u can totally relate to but post college everyone gets caught up in their lives, it's human nature to adapt and you move on.
Our society is structured in such a way that you have to enter the vicious corporate cycle no matter what.It is completely your call to become a part of that rat race and sign up for a lifetime of misery. Only a few people understand the value of 'laziness'...so the whole point of the comment is...a great revelation and a nicely written post :)
A good read Soham...
I can totally relate to the urge of getting to the moment where every thing works out and is stable... but i guess life is never stable... what mean stablity for u might not mean the same when u get to it....
I remember the movie "click" he he he...
Nice write ,I can almost relate to it..and i tell you; to this day,i am as unsure of my destiny as i was the day i entered college...i still don't have a clue ...i never wanted to be, where i am headed to and i know what i want is a mirage ...So at the end you see the easiest way out, is blame it all on Destiny
Post a Comment